We do joint marketing with another bed & breakfast in the area, which for some reason is very confusing to a lot of people. The reason we market together is that we have similar properties that appeal to a similar clientele, and both inns are held to the same standard of quality. Our rooms are in the same price range ($125 - $225 per night). We have a shared website (in addition to our individual websites) under the title "Notable Inns of [City]," and we do marketing using this phrase.
We don't keep track of one another's availability, and we don't make reservations for one another's properties. In fact, I've never even been inside the other property. Pretty much all that this joint marketing business means to ME is that if we are full, I give the caller the phone number for the Other Notable Inn. They do the same thing for us.
So this guy calls and wants a room for Saturday. I tell him that we are full, but suggest that he call the Other Notable Inn. His response? "Yeah, I thought of that, but they're way too expensive. You don't have any rooms at all? Really?"
"I'm sorry, we're completely booked."
"You don't even have like one room that you keep for last minute callers?"
This is a totally ridiculous question and I would love hang up on him at this point. Instead, I say politely, "I'd be happy to add you to our waitlist, but I do have to tell you that there is a long list already and, as we have a wedding party, the chances of cancellations are very slim."
He thinks about this for a minute. "Huh. You really don't have any rooms. I guess I'll try the Other Notable Inn. They're just so expensive. I mean, their cheapest room is like a hundred bucks a night. And that one's booked."
(Now forgive me if this sounds snobbish, but if you aren't interested in paying upwards of $100 a night, you shouldn't be staying at either the Inn or the Other Notable Inn. That's not elitist; it's just a fact. A luxury bed & breakfast is not your best bet for low rates.)
I offer him the number of the chamber of commerce. "No thanks. I'll just try someplace else. I can't believe you don't have any rooms. And that other place is so expensive. Just seemed like you guys were more reasonable. What are your rates, anyway?"
I took a lot of satisfaction in telling him that they were exactly the same as the Other Notable Inn's.
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
God Bless... Blogger?
Let me preface this whole deal by giving you a little background. I work as an assistant innkeeper at an upscale New England bed and breakfast. I love my job - I have worked in a toy store, a well-known ice cream shop, and various other places where I had to bend to the customer's every whim. Not to say that I am not required to give excellent customer service here, but it's so much... easier. I work for terrific people. It's a gorgeous property. Relatively little is asked of me, beyond assorted concierge duties, general upkeep, and tending to the needs of the guests.
Ah, the guests. And that's where it begins.
For the record, I would estimate that 90% of the people who stay here are overall nice people. Almost every guest I deal with is polite, friendly, and generally happy - and why shouldn't they be? They're on vacation (occasionally on business) in a beautiful New England town, staying in one of the premier historic inns in the area. But from time to time, guests arrive who seem to be determined to dislike everything, and anyone, available. You know the type. They complain about how it's too hot in their room, but they don't want to turn on the air conditioning or the fan, or open the windows (this actually happened). These people seem to want to be let down.
Then there are the people who you suspect skipped their medications that morning. They're not as common, but when you encounter someone who is a complete loon but still somehow remains to be a functioning member of society... you don't forget it right away. Which leads me to my first story.
We had a walk-in a month or two ago at around 9:00 pm. The only reason there was a room available for this man was because someone had cancelled their reservation literally five minutes before he came in. This was lucky for him and helped us out of an awkward situation - we would have had to charge the other woman for the night even though she wasn't staying with us. Anyway, this guy comes in, and the first weird thing about him is how HAPPY he is. In hindsight, he was probably on something - possibly X. As I show him around downstairs, he's trailing behind me stroking the curtains and chairs and gleefully remarking on how beautiful everything is - I smile and agree for about the first two minutes and then realize that this man is not hearing a damn thing I am saying, so I point him in the direction of his room and go back to the desk.
Weird Guy drank about eight cups of coffee between the time he checked in and the time I left, about 10:15 (which, come to think of it, could explain why he was so hyped up - but not the weird stroking thing). He was still wandering around happily when I locked up, so I left him to the company of our innkeeper and went home.
I arrived for my shift the following afternoon and was informed by my manager that this morning she had removed several odd sheets of paper from in between the pages of one of the books in the living room. These papers definitely were not there when Ileft, so they must have been the work of either Weird Guy or the nice southern couple who were in the solarium. My money's on Weird Guy.
Let me tell you about these papers. They were standard 8 1/2 by 11 inch sheets, each with a headline at the top, underlined three times, and were blank below that (with one exception). Here is what those headlines said:
Ah, the guests. And that's where it begins.
For the record, I would estimate that 90% of the people who stay here are overall nice people. Almost every guest I deal with is polite, friendly, and generally happy - and why shouldn't they be? They're on vacation (occasionally on business) in a beautiful New England town, staying in one of the premier historic inns in the area. But from time to time, guests arrive who seem to be determined to dislike everything, and anyone, available. You know the type. They complain about how it's too hot in their room, but they don't want to turn on the air conditioning or the fan, or open the windows (this actually happened). These people seem to want to be let down.
Then there are the people who you suspect skipped their medications that morning. They're not as common, but when you encounter someone who is a complete loon but still somehow remains to be a functioning member of society... you don't forget it right away. Which leads me to my first story.
We had a walk-in a month or two ago at around 9:00 pm. The only reason there was a room available for this man was because someone had cancelled their reservation literally five minutes before he came in. This was lucky for him and helped us out of an awkward situation - we would have had to charge the other woman for the night even though she wasn't staying with us. Anyway, this guy comes in, and the first weird thing about him is how HAPPY he is. In hindsight, he was probably on something - possibly X. As I show him around downstairs, he's trailing behind me stroking the curtains and chairs and gleefully remarking on how beautiful everything is - I smile and agree for about the first two minutes and then realize that this man is not hearing a damn thing I am saying, so I point him in the direction of his room and go back to the desk.
Weird Guy drank about eight cups of coffee between the time he checked in and the time I left, about 10:15 (which, come to think of it, could explain why he was so hyped up - but not the weird stroking thing). He was still wandering around happily when I locked up, so I left him to the company of our innkeeper and went home.
I arrived for my shift the following afternoon and was informed by my manager that this morning she had removed several odd sheets of paper from in between the pages of one of the books in the living room. These papers definitely were not there when Ileft, so they must have been the work of either Weird Guy or the nice southern couple who were in the solarium. My money's on Weird Guy.
Let me tell you about these papers. They were standard 8 1/2 by 11 inch sheets, each with a headline at the top, underlined three times, and were blank below that (with one exception). Here is what those headlines said:
The
God Bless His Excellency Laurence Rockefeller
God Bless His Excellency Ronald Reagan
God Bless His Excellency John Kerry
God Bless Mel Gibson, The Patriot
God Bless His Excellency George Patton
-->The Greatest American Military Leader of All Time.
May Field Marshall Montgomery’s Soul Rest in Hell for His Repeated Failures, His Arrogance, and his Disrespect for General George Patton.
His Excellency George Patton always Has Been and Always Will Be One of My Greatest Heroes.
I was, and still am, completely bewildered. A week or so later, our innkeeper informed me that not only was this guy weird, he was also a crook - he wrote us a bad check and stiffed us for his stay, AND all of the information he gave us at check-in was false. This is why we no longer accept personal checks.
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